what to look for in a creativity, life or meditation coach
What is coaching?
Coaching is a relationship between two people (coach and client) who collaborate to support the client to make improvements in their life, usually focusing on a particular aspect. For example, in creativity coaching, it’s about enhancing the client’s creative practice, and in meditation coaching, it’s about improving the client’s life through a meditative practice.
Coaching is usually done in 1-1 confidential, regularly-scheduled conversational sessions where the client shares about the issues that they want to work on. The coach is there to listen and support the client with whatever issues the client may be facing, and together, they will establish goals for the client to work toward.
Coaching differs from psychotherapy or counseling in that the focus in therapy and counseling is on mental health, and looking to the past to help heal unresolved issues or traumas. Coaching is more future and action oriented, helping the client to implement present-day practices in order to create a better future.
At the foundation of the coaching model is the premise that the client already has the answers within.
These answers may not be readily apparent, but through a process of skillful listening, reflection and inquiry within the focused energy of the coaching session, insights and awareness arise from the client’s inner wisdom and resources.
The coach doesn’t go into problem-solving mode to “fix” the client, but trusts in the client’s fuller understanding of the issue and circumstance, and believes the client is the expert in their own life.
Coaching is a relationship between equals, as opposed to relationships such as teacher and student, mentor and mentee, or therapist and client—relationships in which one person is seen as the expert and the other the novice. In coaching, the client is expected to have power and agency over their life, not simply be told what to do. It is a relationship of mutual respect and collaboration.
What I’ve described is the foundation of the coaching model. It doesn’t mean that the coach will never advise the client, give their own opinion, or help to problem-solve. Certainly there is room for sharing of the coach’s perspective and expertise. But this is not the main point of coaching, and these activities should not be the primary focus of the coaching session.
The coach needs to stay in their own lane, in order to create space for the client’s insights to arise. If this doesn’t happen, it can create an imbalanced and dependent relationship dynamic, rather than a healthy and empowered one.
What to look for in a coach
When looking for a coach, you can usually schedule a complimentary discovery or exploratory call, where you can get a sense of their coaching style.
Pay attention to how much time the coach spends talking vs. listening.
And when they are talking, do they talk about themselves, or are they reflecting back what they’ve heard from you?
Look for a coach who truly listens, who puts the focus on you, not them, who is comfortable with silences. This is where true wisdom can arise.
Look for a coach who doesn’t view you as a problem on which to impose their own solutions, but who sees you as a capable, powerful and wise being who already has all the answers within.
Inexperienced coaches often lack confidence in their coaching abilities, and tend to overcompensate and over-do for the client, trying to feed them answers and force outcomes, rather than trusting in the process and the client.
Coaches who lack self-awareness and restraint can exert their own will and directives on the client and attempt to control or micro-manage. When this happens, a power struggle can arise, rather than the intended relationship of collaboration and support. If the goals that are set are imposed by the coach and don’t actually come from the client, the consequences can be seriously detrimental.
The client can be led astray from their true path. The client can lose faith in their own judgment, become confused about what they truly want, and be stripped of their sense of sovereignty. The client can feel a sense of burden and overwhelm, if they feel they need to fulfill the coach’s expectations.
Look for a coach who listens well, gives space for processing, trusts you, respects you, encourages you, has confidence in you, and believes in you. You deserve nothing less.
Are you interested in creativity coaching, life coaching, or meditation coaching? Please send me a note in the contact page and we can explore how to help you.